If Marvel Heroes Smoked Weed, Who Would Be the Best Chill Buddy?

The Marvel Universe is packed with larger-than-life heroes, each with their own unique powers, personalities, and quirks. But what if they put down their shields, hammers, and repulsor beams for a bit and just kicked back with some premium cannabis? Which Marvel heroes would make for the ultimate chill buddy—someone who knows how to relax, have deep conversations, and keep the vibes right?

While some heroes (looking at you, Wolverine) might be a little too intense for a mellow smoke session, others seem perfectly suited for a laid-back night with good weed, deep talks, and plenty of laughs. So let’s spark up the Marvel multiverse’s top contenders and see who would be the best stoner buddy.

Doctor Strange – The Psychedelic Philosopher

If you're looking for a next-level, trippy smoke session, then Doctor Strange is your guy. As the Sorcerer Supreme, he’s got a deep understanding of alternate dimensions, astral projection, and mystical energies—all of which make for some of the wildest high conversations imaginable.

Imagine taking a rip of some magically enhanced herb from Kamar-Taj, only to have Strange open up a portal to a whole new plane of consciousness. He’d probably drop wisdom like, “Time is merely an illusion, but this kush is eternal.” Before you know it, you’re floating through the Astral Plane, seeing colors that don’t even exist, and debating whether the universe itself is just a big, cosmic blunt being rolled by a higher power.

The only downside? There’s a chance that Strange might get too deep—like an existential crisis—which could turn a chill night into a mind-melting cosmic journey. But if you’re down for an intellectual, otherworldly, and completely mind-expanding experience, he’s the ultimate stoner buddy.

Spider-Man – The Funniest, Goofiest Smoke Buddy

If you just want to laugh your ass off, eat snacks, and play video games, then Peter Parker is the ultimate stoner friend. The dude is naturally quick-witted, full of dad jokes, and always up for fun, making him the perfect companion for a lighthearted smoke session.

Picture this: You and Spidey are hotboxing a rooftop in NYC, giggling uncontrollably as he uses his webs to grab a pizza from across the street without getting up. He’d probably start doing impressions of J. Jonah Jameson, mimicking “I want pictures of Spider-Man!” in between puffs. And don’t even get me started on how absolutely ridiculous it would be to play Mario Kart with Spidey while baked—he’d probably cheat by web-swinging around the room to distract you.

The only downside? He might talk a mile a minute when he’s high, leaving you struggling to keep up. And if duty calls, you might be left alone with a bowl of Cheetos while he swings off to fight crime. Still, if you’re looking for pure fun, good vibes, and unlimited comedy, Spider-Man is your dude.

Thor – The Ultimate Party Stoner

If you want a good time, great company, and epic stories, then Thor is your guy. The God of Thunder is already a legendary drinker, so you just know that when he switches to weed, he’s bringing the same larger-than-life energy.

Imagine passing a blunt around with Thor while he tells you wild Asgardian war stories about fighting Frost Giants or partying with the Warriors Three. The man probably has access to Asgardian weed, which would put Earth strains to shame—one hit, and you’d probably be laughing so hard your abs hurt or contemplating the meaning of the cosmos with Heimdall.

The only downside? He’s loud as hell. If you were trying to have a quiet, mellow session, Thor would probably turn it into a full-on feast, complete with roaring laughter and competitive arm-wrestling. But if you want a legendary, unforgettable experience, Thor is the best stoner buddy in the Nine Realms.

Groot – The Chillest, Most Zen-Smoking Companion

Sometimes, you don’t need a crazy party or deep existential conversations—you just need a quiet, peaceful, good-vibes-only smoke session. That’s where Groot comes in.

Groot is the definition of a chill stoner—he doesn’t say much (literally only “I am Groot”), but his presence alone radiates peaceful, calming energy. Imagine hitting a blunt in the middle of a forest with Groot, just vibing with nature, listening to the sounds of the wind and the distant galaxies. The dude literally grows himself, so he might even have some high-quality Groot-grown strains that put even the best dispensary weed to shame.

The only downside? If you’re someone who likes deep conversations while high, talking to Groot might get a little repetitive. But if you just want a peaceful, relaxed session under the stars, he’s the perfect companion.

Iron Man – The Tech Genius Who Can Roll the Perfect Blunt

Tony Stark isn’t just a billionaire, genius, and philanthropist—he’s also the guy who would engineer the perfect smoking experience. You just know that Iron Man has built a high-tech vaporizer that delivers the smoothest, most scientifically perfected high.

With his intelligence, quick wit, and unlimited resources, Tony would be the best person to brainstorm wild ideas with while high. You’d probably spend the whole night debating futuristic inventions, testing out new tech gadgets, or playing Iron Man VR games inside his mansion.

The only downside? Tony might be a little too intense for a casual smoke session. He’s always thinking five steps ahead, which could make relaxing with him a bit overwhelming. But if you want a next-level, high-tech cannabis experience, Iron Man is the guy to call.

Final Puff

While all of these Marvel heroes would be legendary smoking buddies, if we had to pick the ultimate best chill companion, it would have to be Spider-Man. He’s funny, relaxed, down-to-earth, and always up for a good time. Whether you want deep conversations, hilarious jokes, or just a good gaming session, Spidey delivers the perfect balance of chill and entertainment.

But let’s be real—any Marvel character would be a blast to smoke with. Whether it’s getting cosmic with Doctor Strange, throwing a legendary feast with Thor, or relaxing in nature with Groot, each hero brings something unique to the table.